Mavs Nearly There, the D.A.P. Files and Battling the Phase 2 Blues

1 more game to go Baby!!

Ok, you have heard it said that "if you can't laugh at yourself . . ." - right?  Well this entry will probably ridicule and satirize most everyone that is part of this blog (including myself) or at the very least, someone we know well.  Hopefully the majority of the "jabs," all made in good fun of course, will target someone very close to you, such as a spouse, sibling, or co-worker so you can have something to rib them about in the days to come.  With that being said, fellas, I am not responsible for any cold treatment, running up of credit cards, or couch-sleeping that may be a result of you blurting out "hey honey, the drops guy is talking about you in the blog today."   Ok, so now that with have the legaleze out of the way, let us now procede to what I like to call the D.A.P Files, which stands for "Dear Annoying Personality."  And away we go - hang on, and check your feelings in at the door:

Dear Excessive Emoticon User,
Do you really have to have an expression after every sentence in your email or text?  Is it really necessary that you "wink," "sigh," or "stick your tongue out" at me to drive your point home?  More importantly,  how much of your life have you wasted learning how to discover and save to permanant memory those key combinations?  Are you aware that the use of emoticoms falls under the category, "Innovations That Have Done Absolutey Nothing for the Advancement of Mankind?"  It falls right under Flatulence Perfume.  Please do all of us a favor, just stick to standard grammar when you get to the end of your sentences or train of thought and utilize periods, question marks, and exclamation marks and leave the smiley faces for the grade school teachers ; - )

The EEU is closely related to our next offender:

Dear Passive Aggressive Emoticon User,
Sorry, guys we will have to work on Saturday :)

Looks like we are going to have to start letting some of you go :p

So sorry neighbor, I ran over your dog and took out your mailbox backing out of the driveway this morning :o

Do you really think any of these statements would bring about any happiness or joy?  No they don't, in fact, they do the opposite?  This is something an EEU with Hannibal Lector tendancies would do.  Your words say you are sorry, but your freakin' emoticon says, your a horrible person who takes pleasure in other's miserably, specifically misery you deal out.  Well, we all have a little emoticon for you too, it is called "the bird" and doesn't require any technology. 

Dear Self-Important Blue Tooth Guy,
Are you a 9-1-1 dispatcher?  Are you an embarrassing tattoo removal technician?  If not, you don't need a sophisticated cyborg ear enhancement and you are not that important or in  that much of demand.  There is no way you are so busy and so important that you have to wear your techno-blue ray earring - your not fooling anyone.  Please remove the device so everyone will stop calling you a "tool."

Dear Overly Self-Righteous Vegan,
I truly do respect and somewhat admire your committment to making the most of eating styrofoam and corkboard, but stop trying to make me feel bad for enjoying the hearty and robust flavors of animal flesh and for paying attention to the message of the Lion King and accepting the circle of life.   When you drive by a pasture of cattle, you probably think to yourself, "awww, why do they have to be fenced up - why can't they roam free as they were meant to be?"  Well, when I see this scene, I sing that that little commercial tune, "Beef - it's what's for dinner!"  I don't even care if you are secretly thinking I am committing murder each time I devour warmed-up ribeye in the breakroom, just don't interrupt the crime scene with your whining and gasping.  Just move along or sit there and quietly munch on your fried kelp. 

More like "mug me."

Dear Jacked-Up Stud Who Walks Around Naked in the Lockeroom,
We get it, you are the perfectly formed male of the species, but obviously you need to be constantly reminded of that because you can't go 5 seconds without glancing at yourseslf in the mirror for reassurance.  Could it be too much trouble to put a towel around your waist?  If you are concerned about accurate weighing, simply deduct a pound from the scale.  We would all really appreciate it if you would forgo abusing  the loophole you have discovered in regards to exibitionism laws in our country.  It would be a win-win situation:  the rest of us would feel much more safe and you could focus on getting dressed and getting home so you can continue your love making session with yourself in private.

and from the same file . . .

Dear Couples that Work Out Together,
Living, eating, and sleeping together is plenty - do you really need more time together?  They don't call it "Quality Lifetime Fitness." 

Dear Clueless Husband of Pregnant Wife,
Stop telling everyone the "we are pregnant."  Will you be passing a life form the size of a bowling ball from one of your orfices in the near future?  Are your ankles swelling up to the size of hamhocks?  No.  Saying this would be the equivalent of you taking a Josh Hamilton line drive in the family jewels and your wife calling relatives and saying, "we're at the emergency room because we just got racked by a Josh Hamilton frozen rope."  Just to be clear, your not pregnant - she is;  you  just got her that way.  And even though ,in your warped thought process, you figured she would like you saying this - she doesn't, in fact she resents it.

Don't say it, even if you look it . . .

Dear Express Lane Violater,
The sign does not say, "Approximately 10 Items," or "10 Items Give or Take 15."  No, it says "10 Items or Less" for a reason.  These lanes are wonderful for those of us who are HCGers, becasue 10 items pretty much feeds us for the entire week, so why should we have to stick around and endure the social injustice that is Walmart any longer than necessary because you stroll up to the express lane and proceed to innocently purchase half a basket of groceries.  What's insult to injury is when you slaps remember you have to pick up a package or dewormer for your pit bull as the cashier is just about to ring up your 79th and final item.

Ok enough with the satire and now to some information you can really use.  More from the D.A.P files to come in the future.  I have come across some different recipes and food ideas for those of you on Phase 2.  I have had a few comments about needing variety or something to "jazz" up those meals.  Patsy, my wonderful, and non-stereotypical Mother-in-Law, downloaded a book on her kindle that really has some great stuff in there for HCG dieters. Here are a few:

Cold Curried Chicken Salad
Ingredients:
3.5 ounces of chicken, diced
1 apple, diced
1.5 cups celery, diced (optional)
1/4 cup of water
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon finely minced onion
1 clove of garlic, crushed or minced
1/4 teaspoon of curry powder to taste
dashes of garlic and onion powder, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, turmeric and stevia

Preparation:
lightly saute chicken in lemon juice until lightly browned;
Add 1/4 cup of water and spices;
Stir well and simmer over low heat until liquid reduces to for sauce;
Add water as needed to create the consistency you want;
Chill, add chopped apple and celery and serve over a green salad.

Makes 1 serving (1 protien, 1 vegetable, 1 fruit):  260 calories
Chilled Garlic Refrigerator Pickles
Ingredients:
1 med. cucumber, sliced into rounds;
4 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced;
apple cider vinegar;
3 tablespoons of lemon juice
Sea Salt
Preparation:
Mix liquid ingredients together;
Salt cucumbers slices well;
Pack cucumber slices tightly into a small glass canning jar layering garlic slices in between layers;
Pour apple cider vinegar and lemon juice into container until liquid covers the slices;
Refrigerate overnight.  Pickles can be refrigerated for up to 4 days.
Makes 1-2 servings of vegetable - 50 calories

Melba Toast with Strawberry Jam
Ingredients:
1 Melba Toast;
5 large strawberries
Stevia to taste
Preparation:
Puree fresh strawberries with Stevia and serve on top of Melba toast or sprinkle crused Melba toast over strawberry puree.
Variations - add a little vanilla powder or cinnamon to the crushed melbal toast for additional flavor
Make 1 serving (1bread, 1 fruit) - 45 calories

Strawberry Vinaigrette (for those who need some dressing)
Ingredients:
2 Strawberries
1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon of lemon juice
Stevia to taste
Dash of salt, cayenne (optional)
Fresh black pepper to taste
Stevia to taste
Preparation:
Combine all ingredients in food processor;
Puree until smooth;
Pour over fresh green salad.
Garnish with fresh strawberries and freshly ground pepper. 
Variations - use as a marinade or sauce for chicken
Makes 1 serving (fruit) - 10 calories

Grapefriut Vinaigrette
Ingredients:
Juice of 3 segments of grapefruit
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar (optional)
Stevia to taste
Preparation:
Combine juices and vinegar;
Add Stevia to taste;
Pour over mixed green salad and top with remaining grapefruit segments;
Use as a marinade for fish, shrimp or chicken. 
Add salt and fresh ground pepper

Hot Cajun Dressing/Dipping Sauce
Ingredients:
3 Ingredients apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Dashes of garlic powder, onion powder;
Cayenne Pepper to taste;
Salt and peper to taste
1/4 teaspoon of Old Bay seasoning mix (optional)
Stevia (optional)
Preparation:
Combine ingredients in a small bowl and pour over salad
Variations - you can also serve this as a dipping sauce or marinade for vegetables or fish
5 calories

I hope some of those recipes ideas can help you spice up your meals and give you more variety.  Again these recipes are not my original recipes, they came from a book downloaded on a Kindle.  The title is The HCG Diet Gourmet Cookbook by Tammy Skye.  Certainly, you may want to download or try to get the hard copy of the book, but I will start highlighting a few recipes from the book on each entry and also put them on the recipe page as well.  Also, if any of you out there have come up with your own great ideas for recipes on the diet, send them to me and I will include them as well. 

I hope all of you have a fabulous weekend.  My daughter Claire has her big dance recital this weekend, so I am anxious to see her perform and where our money has been going (talk about a racket - dance studios!).   Hopefully the next time I post, the Mavericks will be World Champions!!! A lot of you are starting to send me questions, clients and updates and that is awesome.  Please keep it up and also, I encourage you to become a follower of the blog by signing up for an account.  That way you can contribute to the polls and also comment on posts.  The sign up is free and only takes a few minutes.  Signing off from HCG land - I'm out.